Self-harm

Tips for parents and guardians

• Validate the underlying emotions while not validating the behavior. Self-injury is a coping strategy. Focus on the driving forces for the actions rather than the actions themselves.
• Approach your child from a nonjudgmental stance.
• Recognize that change may not happen overnight, and that there may be periods of regression.
• Acknowledge successes when they occur.
• Make yourself available for open communication. Open-ended questions may facilitate more dialogue.
• Take care of yourself as well. Ensure you use your supports and are engaging in healthy self-care.
• Take the behavior seriously. While this behavior is relatively common, do not assume it is “just a phase.”
• While remaining supportive, it is important to maintain a parental role and to keep expectations rather than “walking on eggshells.”
• Involve the child in identifying what can be of support.
• Become aware of local crisis resources in your community. National resources include Call 1-800-273-TALK for the national suicide hotline or Text 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor.

Things to avoid

• Avoid taking a punitive stance. While the behavior can be provocative, most likely the primary purpose is not for attention.
• Avoid engaging in power struggles.
• Avoid creating increased isolation for the child. This can be a delicate balance with regard to peer groups, but encouraging healthy social interactions and activities is a way to help build resilience.
• Avoid taking the behavior personally.⁵