Power Broke
The super-hip can turn their obsessions into glamorous careers, working as stylists to the stars, talent scouts for record labels, or bloggers followed by millions. This week, all those people are in Austin, TX, for the South By Southwest Festival (“SXSW” if you’re one of these people or have ever even met one of them). But what about those of us who are not as comfortable rubbing shoulders with tech entrepreneurs, music moguls, and next year’s blockbuster bands? Where do we meet? Seriously, someone tell me, because I’ll go there right now. I bought a Members Only jacket just for the occasion.
Speaking of the less-than-cool, Gerber this week recalled cans of Good Start Gentle formula because, in the words of the company press release, “this product might have an off-odor noticeable to some consumers.” The formula is apparently perfectly safe, but, “some cases of spit-up and gastrointestinal complaints have been reported.” They did not clarify whether these symptoms occurred in infants or their parents.
Here’s my question: have you ever smelled any hydrolyzed infant formula, regardless of manufacturer? Just how “off” must this stuff be for someone to complain? Every day, all over the country, moms are asking dads, “Honey, did you forget to wash your socks this week, or are you making the baby’s milk?” Gerber has not yet said what they plan to do with the recalled formula, but if they dump it out anywhere around here I know one thing: my dog will roll in it.
Some things sound cool at first, but then, well... For example, caffeine-based energy beverages have grown to command a huge market share among hip young people who just don’t have time to brew a cup of coffee, the way we did when I was in college in a tin pot over an open fire of dried mastodon droppings. But what if you’re so busy that the very act of opening a pop-top and downing a few ounces of stimulant cocktail takes way too much time? What if you could literally inhale your caffeine? This is the simple dream of the company that produces AeroShot, and it’s a dream the FDA is now threatening to squelch, according to a letter they sent the manufacturer, Breathable Foods, last week.
The FDA mentioned several concerns about the product, but chief among them is that Breathable Foods’ AeroShot is not, in fact, breathable, and may not be safe if inhaled. There was no comment from officials of rival company, Edible Gasses. The FDA also had problems with the product’s labeling, since the package states it’s not to be used by children under age 12, while the website says it’s safe for adults aged 18 and older. Of course since dietary supplements are exempt from the sorts of safety and efficacy trials required of pharmaceuticals, it’s possible the product is actually safe for goats age 12 and older, but if you’re a llama you need to be at least 17 and a half. Personally I’m planning to give some to my dog and then see if he’s any faster finding hydrolyzed formula to roll in.
Finally, the New York Times reported last week on a trend that’s all-too-obvious to pediatricians and pediatric dentists: the epidemic of severe dental caries in young children. Dentists quoted in the article cited a reluctance among many parents to set limits with their children regarding snacks, sugar-sweetened beverages, and even tooth-brushing. I know where these parents are coming from. You want to be strong, but at the same time, you don’t want to upset your child or she may irrevocably alter your Facebook privacy settings.
At the same time, dental caries severe enough to require surgical repair is bad news, so I suggest parents do what I do: if a child doesn’t brush her teeth, tell her you’ll open a can of hydrolyzed formula right under her nose. You may think that last bit of advice sounds ridiculous, but I passed it on to a cousin’s coworker’s acquaintance who’s in Austin this week, and I’m betting that by next year, it’ll be a trend, just like my jacket.