Mojito?
Some politicians are upset that pop super-couple Jay-Z and Beyoncé just celebrated their 5th wedding anniversary in Cuba. As required by law, the U.S. Department of Treasury preapproved their trip to the rogue state, but anti-Cuba activists are demanding to know which category of approved travel applied to the couple’s jaunt: academic, religious, journalistic, or cultural exchange. Neither star is considered a reporter, but both are tenured at the University of Awesome. The trip did not appear to serve a religious purpose, although Beyoncé is widely worshiped. I’m guessing the junket was a “cultural exchange,” on the basis that 5 days of Jay-Z and Beyoncé is a fair trade for a lifetime of Gloria Estefan.
Lead zeppelin
Have you noticed that a lot of kids these days think they’re smarter than their parents? Like how my 13-year-old daughter applauds and praises me with clear, one-syllable words every time I successfully use Bluetooth? A disturbing study from the Centers for Disease Control suggests these kids may actually be right: Most adults in their 30s and 40s are brain damaged. At least something finally explains Congress!
Those of us who have clear memories of the 1970s may think the whites were whiter, the colors brighter, and the gasoline cheaper. That’s not the rosy sheen of nostalgia. It’s lead. It turns out that between 1976 and 1980 a full 88% of American children aged 1-5 years had blood lead levels ≥10 mcg/dL, a concentration associated with irreversible loss of IQ, shortening of attention span, and lifelong disruptions in behavior (I wasn’t kidding about Congress). Toxicologists have now lowered the “lead level of concern” to 5 mcg/dL, and only 2.6% of U.S. preschoolers have levels above that. This does nothing to explain the popularity of Yo Gabba Gabba.
But before we become complacent about how far we’ve come in the battle against environmental lead, we have to recognize that 535,000 U.S. kids with elevated lead levels during the study period (2007-2010) are still likely to suffer lifetime cognitive impairments, and only one-thousandth of them can serve in the Legislature. Naturally, poorer kids and minorities remain more likely to suffer lead toxicity, because what do they need more than another challenge? And who is taking over the reins of power and can therefore solve this problem? That’s right: we of Generation X or, as I like to call us, Generation Pb.
American lesion
What’s the latest thing growing faster than my savings account? If you answered “pediatric melanoma” you’d be right, although the judges also would have accepted “the pile of dirty clothes crammed between my son’s bed and the wall.” According to a new analysis of the SEER cancer database (Surveillance, Epidemiology, and End Results) rates of the rare childhood cancer rose an average of 2% annually between 1973 and 2009.
The study, which appears online in Pediatrics 4/15/2013, was not designed to determine the exact cause of the increase, but specialists are unanimous in cautioning against the use of tanning beds, especially by children and adolescents. In a related story, Maine Gov. Paul LePage last week vetoed a bill to prohibit tanning facilities from serving minors, explaining, "This is government run amok. Maine parents can make the right decisions for their families.” Because if you restrict children's right to give themselves lethal skin cancer, the next thing you know the state will be telling parents when children should be allowed to drive cars or drink alcohol or even skip school! The slippery slope of tyranny is greased with suntan oil.
Screen test
Today’s Zen koan: If the television is on, and a teenager is in the room, but he’s texting about the noob he just obliterated in World of Warcraft on his laptop, is he watching TV? (While you were thinking about that, a tree fell in the forest, and you were not there to hear it. Give yourself a round of one-handed applause.) The question, however, has practical applications for researchers trying to determine what sorts of media use contribute to childhood obesity, people like the folks at Harvard’s Center on Media and Child Health (CMCH). They actually answered it, which ruined their meditation.
Since today’s teens interact with multiple screens at once, the CMCH team naturally gave them yet another screen, a handheld computer that would ping at four to seven random times during the day and ask them which screen they were paying the most attention to at that moment. As it turns out, having the television on does not contribute to teens’ obesity. Actually watching the television does, dramatically. Teens focusing instead on computers, mobile phones, and video games presumably just forget to eat. Personally, I can’t imagine multitasking like that, but it may just be my age. Or the lead.
