Families in Psychiatry: Parental alienation and shared delusional disorders

2. If there is alienation, parse out the reasons

Clarify conscious mechanisms that force the child to reject the other parent. Help the parent understand the consequences for the child in having no access to the other parent. Again, using a genogram helps identify intergenerational patterns, such as emotional cutoffs. Explore the reason for prior family emotional cutoffs. Identify typical patterns in the family for managing anger and conflicts.

In cases of divorce of the custodial parent, look at how anger is managed and stages of grief. Look for the presence of narcissistic injury. Discuss what a good divorce is and the healthiest way for the child to grow up. Help the parent manage and process her own affect without contaminating the child. It is not the role of the child to be the parental caregiver.

Help the child see that there was a loving relationship in the past and that new family goals can be created. The child also might experience anger and grief, and it is important to educate the child about how to manage those feelings appropriately rather than using blame and alienation. Help the child be empowered by positive ideals rather than negative emotions.

Psychiatrists often avoid working with these families, and perceive them as stuck and unable to change. This might be true for some families but certainly not all. Many families find themselves in situations that they do not understand and with problems they need help resolving. Educating and working with families who are stuck and who ask for and want change can change the life trajectory of many people.

Dr. Heru is with the department of psychiatry at the University of Colorado Denver, Aurora. She is editor of “Working With Families in Medical Settings: A Multidisciplinary Guide for Psychiatrists and Other Health Professionals” (New York: Routledge, 2013).