Teen Boys and Aggression: Is Violent Media Really to Blame?

The street also is a place where children are punished by bullying from their peers and “older heads”; they also are chased by neighbors and others who do not want “bad kids” crowding their streets.

Another cause for adolescent male aggression involves their continual search for respect, which I interpret as a search for someone – a peer, adult, mentor, teacher – with whom they can talk. It is imperative that we adults learn how to talk to young people.

We are frightened of them. We don't listen to them or even express curiosity about their feelings – assuming that they have none. This is an enormous flaw in our society when it comes to our children.

Another locus for punishment is the public-safety sector – lawyers, courts, judges, police – where the right questions are not asked and punishment is the end point. Whether it's jail, probation, rough treatment, or whatever the adults want to do or say, the child is subject to them.

Much more important than these violent videotapes is the failure to engage the child and make him feel like he matters. There is an element of ageism here that I find troubling, too. Adults think: “He's the child; I'm the adult. I'll straighten him out.” In these situations, the adolescent comes out feeling badly treated and needing, and practically pleading for an adult who will talk to him. I can't tell you how many times I've heard a young person say: “It's not fair.” The thing is, when they describe what happened, it sounds unfair, indeed. Our society needs to change our attitudes toward and treatment of our young people.

When thinking about youth violence, we first must consider the psychological, familial, environmental, as well as biological factors that can come together in one child to take him down the road of aggression and violence, often landing him in a morgue or behind bars.

So many young men end up in jail for life with no opportunity to get anywhere near their goals, use their natural talents and skills, or speak out on their own behalf. When we deal with a young man who is caught up in either the courts or the mental health system, we must first ask: “What happened to you?” We must find out about the traumas, abuses, losses, and punishments he has endured, and help him forgive himself.

And we must remember to treat him with respect, an act that can open up the door to trust. These are children who never trusted anyone – let alone an adult. To reverse that, we need to look at all of the factors in their lives that led to their current predicament.

Too often, we jump to conclusions and end up oppressing the child because of our prejudices.

The current movie, “Conviction,” is a perfect example of these dynamics. Our young people need an even playing field – and a chance.