For Residents

The blinding lies of depression

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Numb and empty, I continued to drive home in a daze. My mind focused only on the light ahead changing from yellow to red. “Remember to step on the brake,” commanded the internal boss to my stunned mind. No tears, I continued to drive as green blinked its eye.

Earlier that afternoon as I stepped out of my second outpatient appointment of the day, the office administrator’s assistant gingerly informed me, “The guy who answered the phone for your no-show said she passed.”

“Passed? Like … died?” I asked in shock.

She nodded. “I looked her up in the system. She passed away 2 Saturdays ago.”

That was only 2 days after the last time I met with her when we celebrated her progress.

“Too soon, too soon in your career,” my attending bemoaned as I shared the news.

Gathering my scattered wit, I smoothed my furrowed brow and forced a smile back into my eyes. I had other patients to see.

Continue to: Soothed by the hum of my car...

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