Do I Have Coronavirus?

While the ongoing pandemic definitely increases stress and anxiety levels in the hospital, there also continues to be caring and kindness. As I don my personal protective equipment (PPE), a nurse notices an exposed gap in the back of my gown and fixes it for me. He has my back, literally and figuratively. Our unit clerk, hearing my persistent cough, braves the 6-foot danger zone to hand me cough drops. Another nurse asks when the last time was I drank anything, and I give her a blank look because I can’t remember. I’m trying to minimize my use of masks, so I have kept my current one on all day. The front of the mask may be contaminated, but as long as I don’t touch that surface, it is still protecting me. She hands me a cup of water and I consider the benefit of staying hydrated versus using up another mask. Having previously landed in the emergency room with a kidney stone from not properly hydrating, I take off the mask, throw it away, wash my hands, and drink the water. But in my mind, I’m acutely aware of our shrinking supply of PPE. 

On our time off work, my coworkers and I reach out to everyone we know to ask for mask donations. One friend tells me her husband is fashioning a mask for her from their furnace filter. She considers it the most romantic thing he’s ever done for her. The two of us agree that if we run out of PPE, we will go on caring for our patients anyway. We are doctors and caring for others is not only what we do, but an intrinsic part of who we are. Our journey amid the coronavirus pandemic may at times scare us half to death, but in caring for others “little by little we start to come alive.”