Weaponized ticks, pothead parents, and spider smoothies
The Lyme disease truth is out there
The setting is Rocky Mountain Laboratories in Hamilton, Mont. A man and a woman, both wearing dark suits, are standing in a large, poorly lit room full of file cabinets. Each is holding a flashlight.
Sculder: Explain to me again, Mully, why we couldn’t just ask to see these files?
Mully: C’mon, Sculder. My very secret and very reliable source said that Dr. Willy Burgdorfer, the scientist who discovered Lyme disease and worked in this lab, was actually a bioweapons specialist. My source said that Burgdorfer and “other bioweapons specialists stuffed ticks with pathogens to cause severe disability, disease – even death – to potential enemies.” If we had asked to see the records, they would have been destroyed by operatives of the shadow government.
Sculder: Where did you find this secret and reliable source, Mully?
Mully: I read his press release.
Sculder: Did the press release say anything about releases of diseased ticks, either accidental or by design?
Mully: Not until I ran it past a Navajo code talker.
Sculder stares at him blankly for several seconds.
Mully: Okay, okay. There’s this congressman, Rep. Chris Smith from New Jersey. The House of Representatives just approved his amendment to the 2020 National Defense Authorization Act. The amendment “directs the Inspector General of the Department of Defense to investigate the possible involvement of DOD biowarfare labs in the weaponization of Lyme disease in ticks and other insects from 1950 to 1975.” Honestly, it does.
Sculder turns around and quickly walks away. Mully follows her.
Mully: It could’ve happened! What if it’s another in the long line of government conspiracies that were too crazy to be true? Like Roswell. Or birtherism. Or New Coke. I suppose you’re going to tell me that Elvis and J. Edgar Hoover didn’t help NASA fake the moon landings?
