Livin' on the MDedge

Human cheddar, bacteria-bashing berries, and constipation amnesia


Who needs oncologists anyway?

We’re no strangers to gross-out stories here at Livin’ on the MDedge, but fair warning: This is really up there on the gross-ometer. You may want to brace yourselves.

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As with so many good stories, our tale begins with a drunk man vomiting. The 63-year-old man from China had been feeling some discomfort in his throat for some time, especially when eating, but had, up to that point, ignored it. But as the man voided the evening’s mistakes back up to where they came from, something in his throat came loose. Specifically, a meatball-like mass that the man would later describe as a “long, forked tongue.”

Thinking as only a drunk man could, our intrepid friend decided that this object was an integral part of his body and that the best course of action would be to find a glass of water and swallow the mass. However, he did follow this flash of brilliance with an actual good decision, checking himself into the nearest hospital.

As the doctors were examining the man, they discovered the cherry on top of this disgusting story: He’d actually barfed up a tumor. Specifically, a large fibroma, measuring 15 cm by 4 cm, that had taken up residence in the man’s throat. If it hadn’t come out, the fibroma could have continued to grow, potentially obstructing the man’s ability to breathe.

While we’re glad things worked out for our inebriated friend, we’d like to recommend a trip to the doctor for anyone currently having mysterious difficulty swallowing. Don’t make us read about more people throwing up parts of their body. Please.

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