Livin' on the MDedge

Gametes for back pain, Alice in Wonderland syndrome, and liver-saving beer


A mistake of the bloody type

Nurse: Mr. Smeggins, I need to clear up some of the answers on your new-patient information form.

Patient: I filled the whole thing out, didn’t I?

Blood bank type A bags John Foxx/Thinkstock

Nurse: You did, but a couple of your responses are less than helpful. You do realize that “Helvetica” is not a blood type, right?

Patient: I took a stab at it.

Nurse: You’re not the only one. It turns out that 43% of adults don’t know their blood type, and 62% don’t know their cholesterol level, according to a recent survey by Quest Diagnostics. The 1,004 respondents were more likely to know their bank account balances (75%) or their wifi passwords (74%).

Patient: Hey, that’s right! Mine is Earwiglover122.

Nurse: Great. And can I assume that you’re one of the 30% or so supposedly Web-savvy millennials (ages 20-37 years) who keep lab results in a filing cabinet at home?

Patient: Actually, I have a pile for stuff like that.

Nurse: Fine. Now about your other answers. When we asked about sex, we were not looking for “just last night.”

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